Spring is a great time for renewal of the self. As all around us there is new life emerging, plants are growing and nature in it’s majesty is putting on display the brilliance of bright hues of beautiful color … so too should we!
With the challenges in life, the roller coaster of uncertainty and frenetic pace in which time seems to lapse it is easy to become lost, disillusioned and depressed. We can easily neglect our personal needs…physical, emotional and mental. These are some of the feelings I have experienced lately and I try not to chide myself too harshly for falling off the proverbial wagon of mindfulness and positivity…however…like all of you I am human and suffer from my ‘struggles’ or simply life in general – challenges or opportunities; whichever you wish to identify them as – some days obviously are better than others in most instances.
It is important to put forth your best effort every day, live each day to the fullest and be in the moment…but all too often the last few months it has become too easy to do the opposite and succumb to negative thoughts, feelings and mindset.
I suffered a major loss in my life a couple years ago, it was a pivotal moment. Subsequent to that there were multiple betrayals by people who you would not expect to act in such ways…it has been an uphill battle to overcome my anger and disappointment with these individuals and ironically their removal from my life was like the lifting of a negative pressing weight I had been unknowingly carrying. Their true selves emerged and letting go of them was beneficial to my wellbeing, however I was angry and disappointed because they did not only betray me…they betrayed the person who we lost and their actions were so underhanded I was sickened to be associated with them. Good riddance to bad rubbish…yes – but that doesn’t mean I forgive them for what they did, nor has my anger with them subsided greatly. I don’t wish them ill, I wish them what they karmically deserve for the horrible things they have said and done to those I care for…myself included.
Professionally I was also betrayed and now I find myself struggling, second guessing my decisions, life and so forth – you know that horrible downward spiral that inevitably pulls you into its grasp, dragging down your thoughts, spirit and attitude. Compound my own challenges with my loving husband’s professional issues as well and here we have the perfect storm. It feels a lot like the good guys never win… so to speak.
I know holding onto negativity will require letting go and moving on but as I enjoy this spring day I wonder how many others also feel as I do? Truly hoping for the inner strength to let go, move on and continue to see every day as an opportunity…not dwell or ruminate on the what happened and could have been in our lives…
Everything happens for a reason, I do believe this, but I wonder at the why and how more often these last few months…I have strayed from my purpose somehow and allowed the negative to overwhelm me. I make a promise to myself to emerge from this cloud of doubt, disappointment and negativity…I will delve into self-care, creativity and work my way back to mindfulness and a positive outlook.
Wishing everyone the ability to take the lead from Mother Nature in this beautiful spring time – shed the old as needed and experience a re-birth of sorts with a spiritual, mental and emotional renewal of bright colors and positivity!
